The boldness in declaring this The Biggest Mistake in goal setting, is from observations leading several hundred staff and facilitating tens of thousands of people in workshops, conferences, retreats and other personal development experiences in 16 years.
Like many people, I use to have terrible goals. In fact, they weren’t even goals at all.
I had a list of desires I was working towards accomplishing.
Even using S.M.A.R.T. goals. ((see this post on Top Achievement for great information on setting SMART goals), I didn’t have good goals. And my forward momentum reflected this.
- I had a desire to get married.
- I have a desire to raise kids that have happy marriages.
- I have a desire to increase enrollment at events at work.
I’m not saying these are bad things to want. I’m saying I can’t accomplish them as goals.
- I couldn’t getting married until someone wanted to marry me.
- I can’t choose my kids spouse, nor can I choose the behaviors and decisions my kids or their spouses will one day make.
- I can’t make more people come to an event at camp.
My goals use to rely on other people for success. Which in turn really made them desires.
Now, I have goals for my desires.
Mark Batterson shares in his book, Circle Maker, that we pray as if it depends on God and work as if it depends on us.
For me, my desires are up to God to fulfill and my goals are up to me to accomplish, with God’s help of course.
My desire to get married. Is what I prayed for.
My goal was to better myself to become the person I wanted to marry wanted to marry. This is the work I did. And now I’m married to my best friend and the most beautiful woman of God I know.
My desire for my children to have successful marriages. Is what I pray for.
My goal: When I say, “I love you” to my wife, it’s only after I treat her in a way that shows her I love her; all in front of my kids, everyday. I remind myself daily; more is caught than is taught. This is the work I do.
My desire for increased enrollment at work is what I pray for.
My goal: Increase guest satisfaction at every encounter by studying evaluations monthly looking for innovative solutions to improve quality of service, experience, communication, facilities and deliverables related to Mission and Core Values. This is the work I do.
TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS:
- If you haven’t, write down your goals.
- Look at your written goals. Do they rely on someone else to accomplish them? If so, re-title your list Desires.
- Pray hard for your desires, work hard for your goals.
- Read the Circle Maker by Mark Batterson (affiliate link).
- Review your Desires and Goals everyday.
- Are you married? If so, do you and your wife share any desires for your marriage or, if you have any, your children? Pray together and work together. Couples who pray together stay together.
- ?What other Tips and Suggestions Do You Have? Comment Below
WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
- If you don’t have time to work on this, schedule time on your calendar right now.
- Write down 1 desire and then write 2 goals for that desire.
Thanks For Reading